My intestines are rightfully upset with me for splashing them with unfriendly quantities of Keystone lite at my friend’s graduation party… I had to massage them using my Intestine Healing techniques as well as expunge and then once the slate was clean throw a steak super-burrito down there as well… they are resting comfortably now, though no doubt still grumbling a lil’…
I made a breakthrough on Monday in a key area of my interest. The taming of the cow cat. It seems no matter where I live, be it Chicago or near the police station in Central or my beautiful place near Inman Sq. there is a continuous thread of cow cats following me… big, black and white spotted cats that howl and bully and run amok chasing other cats out of the neighborhood. Well… in the past I threw bottles, hissed out windows, and generally kept my distance. In the evening Monday, walking with my friend Ari back from Toscanini’s, my intestinal grumbling attracted a so called cow cat. I whistled and communicated as best I could from my mouth, but it was the creaking and groaning noises from my large and small intestines that attracted and seduced this cow cat, I’m sure. It swayed back and forth in the middle of the road not looking at me but it’s ears were keenly tuned into my intestinal vibrations…
It trotted over at last, belly jiggling back and forth. What a fantastic large cat (though nowhere near the biggest I’ve seen… ask me about Rikki). It rolled on it’s stomach and let me touch it for about fifteen seconds before some faroff noise or moo-meow of a like kind put the wild look back into it’s eyes and it got up and scurried away. If I could’ve safely removed my entrails I’d have let the cow cat play with them, chase and bat at them like strings… it’d be lots more fun for my gut-pile than what-all I consumed on Sunday.