The amount of spam that has been hitting my inbox lately is ridiculous. Ever since I started putting up movies on the biz I have been at the mouth of a flood of crap comments. The comments are ridiculous strings of words and letters hawking herbal medicines and who knows what else. They are arriving from unique IP addresses so it is very difficult to ban whoever is behind it… but I’ve been reading up on what kinds of people do this sort of thing.
In my readings I have come across the name of an internationally known spam baby, by the name of Leo Kuvayev. In the late 90s Leo apparently ran an “internet spam gang” and used the website badcow.com, alls the while living with his moms in Porter Square, Cambridge, right down the street from me. He also had an apartment in Montreal, and apparently was involved in the trading of child porn and beastiality pics. In the articles I perused there was no explicit mention of fishsex.
That all went sour as the sleeping heads of the law woke up to the sounds of spambells ringing right up close to the ear. Leo Kuvayev fled Cambridge, apparently for Russia. In absentia, the Massachusetts Attorney General charged him with the high crime of gross spamligence, which carries a fine of tens of millions of dollars. No one knows exactly where Leo is now, but he’s probably in Russia, and until just last year he was running around with the domain name “badcow.biz”.
All this information marinated in the slowheat of my brain stew for the past week, while I tirelessly cleaned out my inbox and Word Press dashboard of these spammy bits. At some unknown point, perhaps when I was sleeping, the idea arrived that Leo Kuvayev is the one who is spamming me, from Russia, because I challenge his biz dominance. I don’t spam and have no involvement in the trading of pornography, but I do have a widely popular and publicly beloved biz domain, and Leo is possibly jealous and trying to bring down my dynasty.
Well, he can’t do that, because even if he does do that literally, in terms of flooding 3rdarm.biz with so much spam that I can no longer operate it, I will soldier on. Like a bear with a paw in a trap I will gnaw off my 3rdarm and like Big Ursula at the end of the Little Mermaid I will grow in the middle of the ocean many tentacles… wait, I’m getting carried away. Redo. Just like a lizard tail I will easily grow back the 3rdarm domain name.
Really, I wish the one behind all the spamming, especially if it is my former fellow Cantabridgian Leo Kuvayev, will take a quick look at my website and come to the conclusions that for one, his spammy comments aren’t getting through this big filter, and two, my website is a reason unto itself not to experiment with any herbal supplements, unregulated medicines, penis pumps, etcetera. I’ve tried all that shit, including the stomach muscle belt, and unless you want to be more like the biz I strongly recommend you do not attempt any of it at home.
No I have never tried a penis pump, but the stomach muscle belt is something I used regularly, when I lived in the South Loop of Chicago. It was an electric device that wrapped around my stomach. Special lubricant was provided so that when the belt was activated waves of electricity would stimulate my stomach muscles. Not that I expected it to give me rock hard abs, but the stomach muscle belt didn’t even help me go poopies. But I used it a lot. I took the electric pain.
Thats the kind of crap these spam peddlers peddle, whether in pill form or penis pump. It may be exhausting for me to constantly filter this crap out, but I promise none of this spam will ever reach you, the readers, as I will be holding it back with all the force of my 3rdarm. Leo Kuvayev, if you’re reading, please stop. Shoot me an email. Maybe we can re-register badcow.biz and krump out together, Cold War style.
Anyone interested in reading about spam and the small circle of people on this globe that live like rockstars (like Russian rockstars, that is) off of spamming money… just a few people are responsible for up to 50% of total global email… I strongly recommend checking out The Spamhaus Project. The people over there promise “A Spam Free World Just Clicks Away” but I haven’t figured out what clicks to click yet. If anyone knows what clicks to click, please email me. Use the subject line, “NOT SPAM- the couple clicks to click spam to the curb.”
spammers indeed! i feel that every night when i see that great number of email and think, “they love me, they really love me”…..”oh wait, it’s just those damn spammers.”
but, have you noticed on the awstats that the unique IPs that visit your site now have city/state listing accompanying! track the true ones!