D-d-d-disco Shopping Cart?

Last night I did something new, and bought a pair of jeans. The last time I had jeans was when my mom bought me a ghetto-sized pair of Paco back in the dawn of high school… I never wore them. The Paco made me look like a gangbanger, but I didn’t know how to bang. Not then, anyway. So I guess the real last time I wore jeans was in middle school (so much jungle-rot)… my grandmother Happy gave me a pair of hers. They were not exactly denim and had an elastic waist, and I loved them. Those were my “gardening jeans” and were irreplaceable.

So instead of shopping in maternity stores, I simply did not wear jeans for the decade or so that followed middle school. But last night I found myself shopping at Target with my friend Ro, (who has Ro’s Colored Glasses), and I ended up buying a pair of Levi’s Faded Carpenter Jeans. This is not a story in itself, because it is not WHAT one buys when shopping but HOW one wears the clothes. Suffice to say that this morning I washed them and they fit well and I have become somewhat desensitized to the rough feel of denim against my lady legs.

I was outside Target smoking a cigarette by the bikes waiting for Ro to complete his swimsuit purchase (he just needed the bottoms), when I spy my friend Danthewitchdoctordotcom. He comes out of Target with a wild look in his eyes and a 19′ television + DVD player in a shopping cart. Ro comes out. We talk. Ro and I agree to bike escort Danthewitchdoctordotcom back to Central Square with his cart full of electronics. But his Target shopping cart has magnetic brakes that activate on the fringes of the parking lot. What would Monoman Jeff Conolly do?

Danthewitchdoctordotcom trades off his cart for a smaller yellow one across the street. We head up Prospect, Ro and I providing maximum cover to avoid cart-questioning coppers. He trades up again for a 4th party Kmart shopping cart with greased wheels. We bring the cart around the side of my house, as on “my perogative” I agree to drive him the rest of the way into Central. Side note; Danthewitchdoctordotcom works at Cheapo and lives right next to where the underground fire burned last week. The Mcdonalds near his apartment building is still running on a noisy generator…

This morning I spy the shopping cart on the side of my house, and I feel the Heat. Eyes of coppers on my sideyard. So I bring it back to Prospect St. and leave it by Foamy Bubbles, or whatever the laundry joint is called by my house. We have a washer/dryer thank you very much. Maybe someone can use the hot 5th party Kmart cart to bring their massive pile of clean clothes home.

Ain’t nothin’ finer, than intestinal liner.

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