Drawstring Jeans

Because I am going to start serving, as in being a real Dinner and not just #1 Lunch Server in North America, at the East Coast Grill starting this week, my clothes needed to be upgraded to fulfill their dress requirements.  At the Grill servers wear bluejeans and black tops, conveying the casual and relaxed charm of being in laid-back Inman Square, or so it goes.  Never have I been fond of bluejeans.  Matter of fact the only pair of bluejeans that I owned in the entirety of my first twenty years of life on this continent were given to me second-hand from my grandma.  They were her old gardening jeans.  With elastic waist.

I was in middle school at the time of those jeans and let me tell you the vibe back then was let it all hang out.  Kids went commando in sweatpants for entire years back in middle school, and others were just beginning to develop body odors and grow hairs in places and it was a musty jungle of humanity, is what it was.  No one even realized that the fat kid was wearing his grandmas bluejeans.  Nevermind the elastic waist.  And I kept on wearing that pair of jeans well into highschool.

To get my wardrobe up to speed my aunt took me up to Marshall’s and we shopped for bluejeans this afternoon.  My grandma stayed behind and watched the dog & cat, who cannot be left alone because they are super-smart animals and will overthrow our family’s regime in a bloodless kibbled up coup if given half a chance.  I took several pairs to the fitting room with me and felt the liberating rush of dropping my pants in a tiny booth, sort of like I was Sweaty Palmer in one of those movie shops in Times Square, back before Disney brought in the virgins who built the megastore, or the dwarves whatever.

So I tried on some Ralph Lauren and Guess and Hilfiger and the like, and picked out two pair that had an acceptable stitching (straight down the leg) no tapering, nice belt loops and fly (I have an abnormal waistline and so I need the pants to compensate for that.  Also I have to tuck in my shirt and when I do that I always hike up the pants.  So the waistline is important, aight?)  and that was that.  Or was it!  There was one last pair of bluejeans that I’d brought into the tiny booth with me, the fitting room that is.  From the Clearance section of Marshall’s, on sale for five dollars.  They were spectacular!

Five dollars, new!  Additionally these bluejeans are an homage to the original pair that my grandma gave me … because… they are drawstring!!!  No clunky belts, just tighten it up like a pair of sweatpants (but not Commando Sweatpants…) and its good to go!  So comfortable that I am wearing them now (with boxers underneath) they are a soft denim indeed.  Wish I could get Elaine, you know Jerry’s friend who works on the Peterman catalogue? in here to appraise them for me and write a 3rdarm.biz-worthy description.

In absence of that, I sum it up with this.

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