One night after work we were all talking about the new trailer for the upcoming season of Game of Thrones. The talk turned to who would be which character. To be honest, there are not any characters I would want to be in the brutal fantasy world where it’s kill or be killed. Brie, the training manager, said that because I am crafty, always trying to manipulate the action behind-the-scenes, that I would be Varys, the eunuch. “Storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling,” is a typical Varys quote. That would be fine, I shouted at her, except that I have it where it counts. I’m not a eunuch!
Over the weekend, I overheard Shane talking about Game of Thrones in the dishroom. Shane is a person I respect immensely: multi-instrumentalist, college professor of music, has played drums for Steely Dan. He was born in Germany to American parents with roots in the South, and his voice has a kind of stoner twang that wouldn’t be out of place on The Simpsons. “What character would you be?” I asked him.
“The badass with the fucked up face… what’s his name… The Hound!” he answered.
“What character would I be?” I asked.
Shane’s face scrunched up while he thought over the question. And then it came to him. “Ohhh… man. You’d be that guy in the capitol who is always controlling people… The Eunuch!”