A friend gave me a hamburger that she, and the package it came in, promised would grow 600% larger in water. The packaging was thrown out as soon as I ripped into it, so I had no idea how long this is supposed to take. For my aunt and grandma's amusement, I started the experiment… Continue reading Why Won’t My Burger Grow?
Month: October 2007
1041427 Scoville Units on Your Culo
The training has begun. Last night, before jumping into my car and driving down to my family's place on the coast, I ingested a habanero sausage. Then I went to sleep. Deep in my human body, in the acids of my stomach, the demon awoke. Or, the sausage became the demon. Something happened down there,… Continue reading 1041427 Scoville Units on Your Culo
One Dollar Cookie Monster
Whenever someone failed at the machine the claw would return to its original position and a deep, masculine robot voice would declare, "Thank you, more." This usually resulted in me pumping more quarters into the Skill Crane. That one word, more, kind of defined our relationship at first. Until I inserted the two quarters for… Continue reading One Dollar Cookie Monster


