A plan has begun to blossom in my head for dealing with working multiple double shifts in a row. Take the medicine early, but not until after 3/4 a large coffee and at least one cigarette. Not until already riding on the Green Line train. Otherwise it will be too early. Take the medicine and finish the large coffee and try to smoke a second cigarette as soon as possible. Drink two cappucinos, and smoke one more cigarette before noon. That lays the AM foundation for PM success.
Thirty minutes after noon on Wednesday the international human resource people came into the hotel to have a 45 minute Power Lunch. Srecko & I were on hand to guarantee the group got served within that timeframe. Everything had been planned in advance. The Power Lunch had been customized so as to agree with the distinct international tastes of the group. The human resource people were a very international group. Of forty people altogether, twenty arrived in handmade African gowns. These were all men. The customization called for the tables to be set with cold tap water, NO ICE. To comply, Srecko and I set the ice water out 45 minutes before the group’s arrival, and opened the curtains so that the sunshine melted the cubes. The tap water was cold and mostly cubeless upon their arrival, in accordance to the customization.
The sole beverages for these Africans & Middle Easterners & British Raj was to be iced tea, NO ICE. The internationals, I knew from experience, hate ice of all sorts. So the ice was kept on the side of the beverage set-up, in a bucket. To be scooped by request. The typical beverage order exchange went as follows. “Good afternoon sir, may I get you some iced tea, with or without ice?” “Yes, I will take a pineapple juice.” -or- “Yes, a sprite. NO ICE.” To which our only reply, in compliance with the customized Power Lunch menu, was, “We are authorized only to serve iced tea, with or without ice. Would you like iced tea?” To which the majority of the responses was a blunt, “Tea.” Srecko or I would then return with an ICE FREE iced tea, plunck it on the table, and scurry away before a comment or complaint could be registered.
The international human resources people had to be in and out in 45 minutes. Out of 4 choices for their one course Power Lunch, quite a few tried to order three or all four choices as a series of courses. They were refused. No pineapple juice today, and no you cannot select the entire menu for your lunch. The fish was prepared in a rice tempura batter, and was the most popular final answer. NO RICE, said many of the customers. Its in a rice batter, we explained. NO RICE. Or, when we served the fish and chip, the flip side of that discussion was, Where is my rice? MY RICE. Some of the people that ordered the sirloin & chopped salad ate the steak only and then asked for a second sirloin. I brought them an un-iced iced tea instead.
The ones that ordered the shrimp quesadilla were upset until they found the shrimp, cleverly hidden inside the quesadilla. One guy that got chowder asked for PEPPER. PEPPER! Srecko brought over the peppermill but when he was bringing it down to the man’s bowl of chowder the man grabbed it and fought Srecko for it. As if he thought an attempt on his life was being made.
Look it, these people were good people for the most part, but as a server in America I feel a right to poke fun at their wackiness. Last year we had the same people for a party and I was a busboy. An African woman showed up with a fantastically giant flamboyant hat with REAL FRUIT in it. To be fair, last year the International Human Resources menu had an appetizer, entree & dessert, and they had a full choice of beverages. So they are forgiven for expecting the same or better this year, but their hosting group either ran out of time or money (which are really the same thing). So I don’t blame the internationals, I merely poke fun at their wackiness.
The energy-star plan for working doubles continued after the Customized Power Lunch ended. Buy a can of Red Bull on the way home. (Avoid drinking soda. There is not enough caffeine in soda to sustain you, it cannot be trusted and will only slow you down.) Do not drink the Red Bull. Think about the Red Bull. Pretend you drank it. Think about the effect it will have on your metabolism. Do not eat anything, or if something is absolutely needed, a small bowl of rice. Eating in quantity will only slow down your metabolism and make you want to sleep. When you have carried the Red Bull on your person for half an hour, you are free to drink it. Do not expect to feel better; it is merely to raise your metabolism.
Do not smile or laugh in the afternoon. It takes a couple hundred facial muscles to smile, but only 3 or 4 to frown. Conserve those muscles, let them stay relaxed. Do not drink coffee, as this will make you feel like you have to go to the bathroom, or start you yawning. Let the Red Bull raise your metabolism and keep it at that level for the rest of the evening. Do not talk to other people, or let them engage you in discussion. This will lead to smiling, or laughing. Remain focused on the strategy. As the evening turns into night and the end appears on the horizon, let the smiling and laughing return naturally. Abundant beef brisket & Pall Malls will be at hand, if you follow these directions and successfully pull double after customized power double.