Be Somebody

That’s what Mr. T says. Because if you’re not somebody, then you’re somebody’s fool. This is good advice that I had not considered before tonight. But tonight I was somebody, in fact. I was a shining example to my new Saturday hosting partner, as it was the first time that we worked together. I showed her how to screw up the menus, so that customers aren’t sure what the specials are, and how to under-quote table times, so that we end up with lots of late tables. And I did it all in a blue Hawaiian shirt.

Now that she has seen the wrong way to do things, next week I will show her the right way. The Hawaiian shirt is from Aruba. When I was a fat kid in middle school, my mom, aunt, sister and I took a trip to Aruba. Kate and I rode horses on the beach. My mom and aunt read lots of books. We went shopping and they bought me this shirt, and it still fits. The hotel was all inclusive , and I nearly had to be hospitalized because I drank so much grape soda down by the pool. I’m not even joking; I was in a lot of pain. We’re talking gallons and gallons of grape soda.

My facial hair matches Paul Pierce’s. He is the Truth, the captain of the Celtics. I hope that they win tomorrow night in Boston, but even if they do not win they have had a hell of a ride in these Playoffs. With all the injuries they sustained and the tough games, any other team would have folded a long time ago. The Celtics must listen to Mr. T.

This was my dinner. Brisket over succatash; doesn’t get much better than that. This Saturday marked the first night this spring we’ve had fresh corn on the cob in the restaurant. We served the grilled corn cobs with seared monkfish, fried green tomatoes and saffron aioli. Okay, that dish may be better than brisket over succatash. Just by a little.