Yes I am okay a
nd so is my family, thank you for your concern. Please take a moment to rate my hair cut (self styled) from 1 to 10 or out of three or five stars. This may also be done on a personal scale, privately, and must not be shared, with anyone. Voila!
I haven’t been updating my 3rdarm in forever. Its been stagnant like the tattoo of the ring tailed lemur on my right arm… colorless, stale, like Necco wafers. Here is a breath of fresh air like Wilhemina Pepermunt for you 3rdeyes, the ones that see across oceans onto my machine. So put your 3rdarms together and your 3rdhands together and give me some of the ooooo-oooold soul clappin’:
I ate a salmon salad sandwich for the first time in the millenium. Fishier than tuna and pink. My aunts cocker spaniel looks like a little black bear and so we put a little salmon in its water bowl and it used its paws to “catch” the salmon chunks as in the wild. It was a natural, “outdoors” kind of conditioning for the sweet, indoors spaniel.
What is with the 500 LB men, are they magnetized to me in some strange way? Last year I had a man with a large wooden cross and a 500 LB man, two buddies eating at the restaurant I work at probably on some conference from the Heartland (isnt that a good name for a supermarket?), escorted the hell away from me by security because they were proselytizing me and asking me to meet them in the hotel after work, so that we could talk more and “really explore this Jesus stuff.” Right. Saturday (default yesterday) another 500LB man with his children from H Town (default Houston) sat at one of my tables and he had a kind pair of dog eyes lodged in that mountain of flesh, but he wanted me to ice him up some lobsters and shellfish for direct mail down to H Town and I was like, Hello, crawfish. It may just be that 500 LB men can see that I treat humans as what they are, period, humans, period. Whapeesh whapeesh! C’mon.
When I was a child I was medically obese, and once was declared legally blind because at 4H camp (yea, we rode horses) I was standing near a fire and the counselors were burning poison sumac and poison ivy and I have strong allergy and the smoke enveloped my face and closed up my eyes and the doctors gave me cortisone steroids and declared me legally blind so I watched Godzilla and Mothra and the Three Headed Monster movies in the basement for a week. Whapeesh!
I think a lot of people can relate to this anecdote:
Have you ever had your mother or some relative yank you by the collar as you put your foot down on the street crosswalk, yanked back only to have a car that you never saw speed past and it would have certainly hit you? This is the convergence of people feeling so comfortable around their family and familys great skill at providing cover, security and defense.
I plan on adding an Email Button to the 3rdarm.biz in early august (thanks Chef, and by the way I may also throw up a story by Chef about a Bucket, the life of a Bucket, and so forth, if he writes it) so that you can just push the button to basically talk to me. I may also have a webcam installed on my shoulder, hidden inside a stuffed animal parrot so that no one in my life would realize they are being filmed. Use the bird to go 500 LB man watching…