Conscious Incompetence

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I am real mad at myself for blowing my role in the third and fourth straight losses for our team last night, and wanted to write out some thoughts I’ve had in the wake of those twin 7-4 losses:

I think one of the biggest hurdles I am facing in the game is moving from being unconsciously competent to consciously competent. I can practice for hours and get faster at moving and killing, develop better aim, and feel out where I am needed and how to assist my teammates. That’s an organic process that happens hour to hour, and day to day. But I’m not talking about Fall Cup 2016 with HRC as pota (most of you won’t vote for her anyway, and that’s fine: Canadians.)

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These cup matches force me to move to being conscious of myself and the game plan: a difficult shift. We are on vent, planning the positions and then in game describing the action. I just learned that I don’t have to push to talk this weekend: now I am moving from a solitary learning process to a test with teammates depending on me to be strong. I have Bonkers instructions for outer D on bletey’s written down on an envelope on my desk: “Spam quad from the doorway, defend hallway and communicate if enemy FC goes water” scrawled like the writing of a madman in the shining. Nerves got the best of me.

Now that I’ve slept on it: What I took away from last night is that I played below my skill because I got away from the fundamentals of the game. I am not at the level of the captain and should have listened more and taken propranolol to lower my blood pressure. I am going to practice moving faster. I am changing my binds so that when I grapple into a room I will be chaining you to say hello. I’m going to ask questions. I am conscious of my incompetence.

Also, I have to pick my girlfriend’s mother up at the airport next Sunday and we will please need a good sub.

-from the ACMECTF Quake 2 CTF Fall Cup 2013 forum

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